There are people who claim to love me. I dont mean always in a romantic way. But it’s okay. You love me? Cool. I love myself too. Then comes the getting to know you part. ‘Hey I wish I could get to know you better/ you are such a mysterious soul, God I need to find out more about you/ Why dont you tell me about yourself much/ Hey share your life with me!’ and similar crap. No like okay this could be a borderline rant but I dont mean to get rude. I just mean to be honest. And people literally do that. So manny of them.
So most of you know about my blog right? Of course you do otherwise how could you be reading this? Now if you have ever bothered to check the ‘about me’ page, I clearly mention there that my blog has everything about me, my experiences, inspirations, reflections. Makes sense? I think I have also mentioned numerous times that I suck at revealing too much. But at the same time I am good at expressing myself in words.
How much more simple do I make it for you?
See, I respect the love and care which you show towards me even if it is fake. I really do. That is one reason why I haven’t already blocked/sidelined/ignored/rebuked you. That is one reason why you still talk to me and never guess out the anger bubbling on the verge. I never show it. I am sweet. But I am putting it here. For all those who know about it and still wish to know about me.
Like if you really do care to know me, please make an effort. Show that you care to know. Otherwise I have some pretty awesome answers prepared for you people the next time you say ‘Is there any way to know what lies beyond those deep eyes?’ There definitely is one and you will not probably like to stare into them again once you find out.
P.S: You see why I titled this ‘Not worth reading’ because I am sure they would be most interested in reading this. Human psychology. XD
This is not going to start with apologies of how I was away for so long and completely abandoned this place which I once called my safe haven. Basically because it’s not my fault if life throws a shit load of lemons,wait no, basically dumps shit load of lemons on my head. However at the same time this is not going to be a monologue of all the miseries and sufferings that nestled into my heart and home for the past few months.
What we can safely conclude though is that I was pretty occupied the last few months. Still am. It has been a roller coaster ride so far and I want, whoever is reading this, to pray for my health. Thats one huge concern these days. Apart from that, yeah my gap year is finally coming to an end. Wish me luck. I wanted it to end in a better way really but no ungrateful rants. Needless to say I missed my blog but couldn’t have afford to write a new post. Zero mental strength.
I am still a bit exhausted in all honesty so I would be using this post more as an outlet to sort my mind out a bit. Those not interested can quit from here. I have not been able to respond to comments of all my lovely followers and readers, let alone read new posts from them. I understand that writing my mind out could maybe make me feel better but I am bad at revealing too much.
The blogging fam has been awesome and of course I owe a thank you. I started with zero followers and reaching a 100 was a milestone. Thank you. Thanks to Allah for bringing me this far, if all goes well and I dont happen to be as inconsistent with this blog as I have been recently-Insha’Allah I aim to get a 100 more. Couldn’t have been possible without your support guys. Also Farees I love you.
Funnily, this is not to announce that I am back. I am not sure if I am. I am just a bit lost and trying to find my ground. Maybe this wasn’t the right mental state to write a blog post in after all but this time, for the first time, I really want to use this as my safe haven. Somewhere I can write whatever I want to, whenever I want to. Even if it doesn’t make sense and even if it is pointless. It is my blog. And I love it.