Disoriented

M6-1

Stack of papers

Cacophony of thoughts

Too much noise inside my head

Spilled words, half-spoken,

Some unspoken,

Fears, hope. Dread?

 

Books here, pen there

Two pencils lying on the ground,

Empty glass, soul bereft

Of feelings, mind over-crowded

With foreign sounds.

Incomprehensible,

Dark and light

Blurred, vivid howls

And whispers.

Dancing, mocking

Names and buildings

Unpaired, different coloured

Slippers.

 

Droning, hammering, humming buzzez

Head numbed by surging pangs

Incompleted self, incompleted verses

Built upon pieces of worthlessness.

A Drop Of Serendipity

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Drunk upon the tattered,

Fragmented bliss;

Sip by sip, bit by bit

Showering upon my empty soul,

Like crusty amber Autumn leaves,

Free-falling from a chestnut tree.

Faint scarlet flashes

Of fantasy,

Swirling on the canvas of grey

Of slightly blurred

Reality.

A drop of glee from the sun,

A drop which, a little sears,

After nights of lucid, salty

Drops of pure profuse tears.

Reeking of tipsily dancing,

Unfathomable epiphanies;

Black ink frets to capture

This so short-lived moment

For infinity.

Knowing with such strong

Conviction, its disappearance

Into sooty smoke,

When again the drops of glee have turned

Into tears of smouldering hope.

P.S: written on my result day, when I finally completed my A levels, as an attempt to describe my internal state on a great but not perfect result. Hence the mixed feelings of red on the canvas of grey.

 

Her rhyme of bed time

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As the clock strikes three

In that early hour of morn,

She sits upright

On her bed

 

It is time, O dreary Time;

Sclera painted red by Worn,

The face a ghostly white,

The town lays half-dead.

She has been summoned;

To a meeting, a meeting,

With some important, unavoidable members

For some unavoidable affairs;

Dressed in red and black.

It is a summoning,

Arduous yet urgent;

In an hour so early

In an hour so late.

The meeting begins:

“Rush, haste please, rub your eyes,

Have not you learned to see

In the dark?

We come with concern

To check on those bruises,

Staining the satin skin so stark!

‘I don’t want to talk about them,

Let me sleep; can you not see,

My sleepy eyes?’

“Who do you try to fool,

Us or yoursefl?

They are just tired, not sleepy!

Stop webbing those lies!”

‘Why don’t you leave me alone?

What do you want?’

She whimpers in angst,

Serpent like whispers;

Her body so cold.

“Leave you Alone? Hah!

That you already are,

Their pretense of friendship

Has long grown old.”

“Now let’s talk business,

We again present the deal:

A shiny shard of metal,

For all the pain you feel!”

‘No, I tried it last time,

It gives more pain….”

“But didn’t it give a relief,

You have been gasping for

In shame?”

‘But your coming sends chills

Down my spine,

It douses all embers

Of smouldering hope..’

“But darkness is solace,

Darkness is friend;

Cobwebby chambers,

For misery filled souls destined

To mope!”

‘No!’ , she retorts,

Her reasons failing,

‘No, they love me!’

(Clenching her pillow tight)

“Love? A facade!

Do they ever care, do they ever ask ?

Why you sit awake,

At this gloomy hour of night?”

“Hush dear child, they are all sound asleep,

We are the ones, tending by your side;

We offer you treasures, always worth a keep,

A rope so loyal, it would always stay tied!”

“A few wisps of our smoke; A quarter pint,

Running through these veins,

Will poof all the agonies

Their hollow hugs never

Could sustain!”

A bargain or two,

An exchange of goods,

Swirling down the drain

Some miseries have been flushed.

Unavoidable affairs dealt,

The important meeting ends.

For another day,

Her insanity has been hushed.

In this still early hour of morn,

She lies curled up,

Now oblivious, in her bed.

Shivering dew drops,

Welcome a new day

And then a new night,

When again she will have to

Deal with the unavoidable demons

Residing in her head.

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