Not Worth Reading

There are people who claim to love me. I dont mean always in a romantic way. But it’s okay. You love me? Cool. I love myself too. Then comes the getting to know you part. ‘Hey I wish I could get to know you better/ you are such a mysterious soul, God I need to find out more about you/ Why dont you tell me about yourself much/ Hey share your life with me!’ and similar crap. No like okay this could be a borderline rant but I dont mean to get rude. I just mean to be honest. And people literally do that. So manny of them.

So most of you know about my blog right? Of course you do otherwise how could you be reading this? Now if you have ever bothered to check the ‘about me’ page, I clearly mention there that my blog has everything about me, my experiences, inspirations, reflections. Makes sense? I think I have also mentioned numerous times that I suck at revealing too much. But at the same time I am good at expressing myself in words.

How much more simple do I make it for you?

See, I respect the love and care which you show towards me even if it is fake. I really do. That is one reason why I haven’t already blocked/sidelined/ignored/rebuked you. That is one reason why you still talk to me and never guess out the anger bubbling on the verge. I never show it. I am sweet. But I am putting it here. For all those who know about it and still wish to know about me.

Like if you really do care to know me, please make an effort. Show that you care to know. Otherwise I have some pretty awesome answers prepared for you people the next time you say ‘Is there any way to know what lies beyond those deep eyes?’ There definitely is one and you will not probably like to stare into them again once you find out.

Peace.

P.S:  You see why I titled this ‘Not worth reading’  because I am sure they would be most interested in reading this. Human psychology. XD

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Got Carried Away

This is not going to start with apologies of how I was away for so long and completely abandoned this place which I once called my safe haven. Basically because it’s not my fault if life throws a shit load of lemons,wait no, basically dumps shit load of lemons on my head. However at the same time this is not going to be a monologue of all the miseries and sufferings that nestled into my heart and home for the past few months.

What we can safely conclude though is that I was pretty occupied the last few months. Still am. It has been a roller coaster ride so far and I want, whoever is reading this, to pray for my health. Thats one huge concern these days. Apart from that, yeah my gap year is finally coming to an end. Wish me luck. I wanted it to end in a better way really but no ungrateful rants. Needless to say I missed my blog but couldn’t have afford to write a new post. Zero mental strength.

I am still a bit exhausted in all honesty so I would be using this post more as an outlet to sort my mind out a bit. Those not interested can quit from here. I have not been able to respond to comments of all my lovely followers and readers, let alone read new posts from them. I understand that writing my mind out could maybe make me feel better but I am bad at revealing too much.

The blogging fam has been awesome and of course I owe a thank you. I started with zero followers and reaching a 100 was a milestone. Thank you. Thanks to Allah for bringing me this far, if all goes well and I dont happen to be as inconsistent with this blog as I have been recently-Insha’Allah I aim to get a 100 more. Couldn’t have been possible without your support guys. Also Farees I love you.

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Funnily, this is not to announce that I am back. I am not sure if I am. I am just a bit lost and trying to find my ground. Maybe this wasn’t the right mental state to write a blog post in after all but this time, for the first time, I really want to use this as my safe haven. Somewhere I can write whatever I want to, whenever I want to. Even if it doesn’t make sense and even if it is pointless. It is my blog. And I love it.

Sunshine Blogger Award

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Assalam o alaikum and hello readers!

I am finally doing an award post and no doubt I am happy about it. This time around I was lucky enough to bag the Sunshine Blogger Award and was nominated by this lovely empathetic and definitely kind girl Bhavika. Thank you so much bhavika for the appreciation you have given me by nominating me for this award. It really means a lot to me even if I always fall short of words to thank people when they nominate me for an award and repeat the same old cliched lines in each one of my award posts. I really feel more than those words.

So apparently Sunshine blogger award is given to bloggers with inspiring words and posts as bright as the sun.

No. Okay maybe something like that but basically it is about the bloggers who bring sunshine in the lives of their readers and if this sounds too sun-shiny to some readers (as I am sure it would to one person xD) then you could consider this award as one given to all those thin and tiny rays which are trying to do their part by producing feeble light in an otherwise dark void.  Thank you.

So as I have turned out to be the greatest conformer of all times, here are the rules:

1.) Thank the person who nominated you in a blog post and link back to their blog.

2.) Answer the 11 questions sent by the person who nominated you.

3.) Nominate 11 other bloggers to receive the award and write them 11 new questions.

4.) List the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo in your post and/or on your blog.

Lets get to answering my questions.

Q1. What/ who gives you peace in life?

Ans. Connecting with the Almighty

Q2. If given a chance, what confession would you like to make?

Ans. That I am not good at making confessions? (You see what I did there xD)

Q3. What do you think is the most positive and negative thing about my blog?

Ans. Well I believe a blog is your personal property, you are free to make it into anything so no one should really tell you there’s something negative to it. You share your life on the blogosphere and people take inspiration from it (or they don’t). They like or learn from it (or they don’t). Your blog is fab, has so much to take inspiration from. Maybe you are too much of an open book and I would prefer anonymity but then again its only about personal preferences.

Q4. How would you define “Life”?

Ans. Something you can’t escape from when you want to. Something you can’t stay in either when you want to. Got to live for as long as have to live.

Q5. What made you blog?

Ans. I owe this to Farees because even though I knew I wanted to write and could write, it was her writings which ignited the urge to create a blog.

Q6. Your favourite quote?

Ans. Okay I really suck at picking favourites. I mean seriosuly. So I’ll just share two which are coming to my mind right now:

“Verily your Lord is Generous and Shy. If His servant raises his hands to Him (in supplication), He becomes shy to return them empty.”-Holy Prophet (S.A.W)

“Always pity the thinkers, for they are cursed with their own imagination”-Atticus

Q7. Book which changed your way of thinking?

Ans. Forty Rules Of Love (I don’t even know what it changed or if it changed something, I really just cried for a week after completing it.)

Q8. My post which you liked the most?

Ans. I absolutely loved “Magical Mommy”

Q9. Favourite blogger?

Ans. Everyone who is trying but xD Farees has to be the one I suppose.

Q10. One desperate wish?

Ans. That I could wish less and be more content with what I have.

My questions:

1. What would you choose between life and death?

2. Which country would you like to tour in your vacations?

3. Should money dictate your career choice and why?

4. You are late for a meeting but there’s an injured child on the road. How will you cope up with the dilemma?

5. Your most recently played song?

6. Happiness is ….?

7. Rainy nights or sunny days?

8. Why are we unable to think of questions when we are given the opportunity to?

9. I know the last one was what it was so here’s a more interesting one. If you were to choose one element or physcial feature from nature to define yourself, what would it be and why?

10. Have you ever suffered a panic attack. If yes, what was the first thing you tried to get rid of it?

11. How much do you sleep in a day on average?

My nominations:

Farees
Sauce box
Wolfish delight
Ashley
Safiyah
Elm
Her inked soul
Another aesthete
Tam
DemureDolls

Anomaly

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Dancing in the garden,
Enraptured, she shouts,
“Look! How extraordinarily,
the garden they adorn!”

But pushed away by the warden
From the roses that sprout;
People looking at her pointedly,
As she struggles to break free
To collect some of those thorns.

Dearly Dangerous

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This one goes out for all the struggling women out there who have been victim to violence, emotional hurt, physical assault or any abuse big or small; physical or emotional at the hands of their male counterparts. This is a vent of the unkempt suppressed feelings that have piled over the years just to be hushed aside in a dark corner. It is the hatred that only sparkled as tears in the eyes. This is unleashed rage. It is the conflicting dilemma they go through.

It is venom that she writes with
No! Not your standard ink
Let it swim into your veins
With every word you drink

Let it slow-poison you
As it slithers up those streams
Her every sting will swallow you
Only she can hear your screams

But it won’t just get over yet
You thought karma was a bitch?
She’ll avenge the pain beyond revenge
Now meet a real-life witch

She will resonate through your conscience
With every echo you will fall
Even when you are down on your knees
You will stare at her appalled.

Taste that bitterness of every promise
You left but just unmet
For everytime those words were uttered
Those three words you’ll regret

You smother her, hah! Infutile
She is not a petty gasoline ignite
She is devilry straight out of hell
She’ll smoulder you without respite

Silently she spins the web
You thought she was fragile?
It’s stronger than the strongest threads
Reeking of cyanide

For no matter how much you run away
Can you escape your own head?
But still she weeps when looks at you
Tossing and turning in your bed.

Chirya.

One-liner # 11 She reblogged in hope of producing something similar some day.

Blasphemously Yours,

Ten sad one-liners.

  1. He stinks of old memories…or is that alcohol?
  2. He leaves first thing at dawn after he’s answered the call to Lust.
  3. She laughs at the mirror, in horror.
  4. Her eyes are as blue as the bruises around them.
  5. The maid looks at the acid with pity; she knows what it’s like to burn so much.
  6. Mother used to sing him to sleep, now the monster under his bed has devoured her.
  7. The glass shards of empty beer bottles break like his bones under strain.
  8. They are called many names; family is the worst one.
  9. Some people buy freedom from cages at the price of chains.
  10. His hand trembles when he holds the cane. 80 year old but childhood memories stay the same.

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